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Submitted on
June 14, 2012
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"But Papa, I don't want to!" Little (name) complained. Oh, why must she be stubborn? Well, she gets it from her Papa here (Me, bastards).

(Name) pleaded with her eyes open and made a discomfort face. She seems rather uncomfortable in this situation. Well, I would be too; but this situation only involves her.

"You have to," I replied. "You're going to do it sometimes anyways." I looked at (name) with a strong face. But it was hard trying to make that serious face at her. (Name's) eyes are so soft and vibrant with the color (eye colour), and her (hair colour) locks just dancing beneath her shoulders. How could you stay mad with that gorgeous little face of hers?

"No! Papa, I don't want to!" (Name) sprinted out of the bathroom and down the hall. "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!" She screeched.

I sighed lightly to myself. Oh boy. (Name) is just like me when I was little. I finally become the "Spain" of the house, and (Name) is now my little self. I now can see the stress and agony I caused Spain. I now regret acting like that. But that tomato bastard kinda deserved it for trying to go all 'Pedo' on (Name)!

I exited the bathroom and walked lightly down the hall so (Name) couldn't hear my footsteps. Why did she run down the hall? It's because it's her first time using the 'big girl' toilet, and she's trying to shit in there.

She doesn't want to use the toilet because she's afraid she might fall in there. But I'm telling her, if she's not going to use that toilet soon, she's going to crap her pants. And do you know who will have to clean that? Huh? Do you? No! Not Feliciano! ME! I will have to clean that shit off her pants!

I tiptoed quietly entering her room, and I found (name) on her bed covering herself with her pink unicorn blanket watching the Wiggles.

"(Name)…" I whispered.

She quickly turned her head and ran straight to the TV to shut it off and tried to scurry under her tiny bed. I ran to grab her, but failed.

"Ugh! Dammit (Name)! Get out of there!" I yelled.

(Name) popped her head out from under her bed and said, "Ooh, Papa said a bad word! I'm telling uncle Spain!" She plunged her head back under the bed.

"Ugh, don't worry about that tomato bastard, and (Name)! Come out from under your bed!" I yelled.

"Okay…" I heard her mumble. I heard a shuffle and a clank. "Ow!" she yelled.

"Are you okay, (name)?" I asked.

"Yes Papa, I just banged my head on the bottom part of my bed," (Name) responded.

(Name) climbed out from under her bed; her pink unicorn blanked still on her head. She trudged over to where I was standing.

"I'm sorry Papa…" I heard (name) mumble.

"It's okay, Figia… but never do that again to your papa, do you understand?" I looked concernedly into her eyes.

"Yes papa." She gave a sweet smile Feliciano always used to do when we were young. Her blanket was still on her head. How cute.

"Come on, (Name). Have a seat." I lightly pushed her over to her bed. I sat down next to her. "Now, (Name), you have to use the 'big girl' toilet no matter what," I said.

"But Papa, why do we have to poop in toilets?" (Name) asked innocently.

I never thought she would ask this question. I was prepared for every damn question she would ask, but I wasn't sure why we do really have to shit in toilets.

I hesitated, and looked at the pink blanket she had on her head. Aw, unicorns. Wait, I hate unicorns. Wait a second…THAT'S IT!

"To feed Unicorns." I answered. (Name) looked at me like I was a madman, then all of a sudden, she sprinted out of the room.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!" She screamed. (Name) ran towards the bathroom quickly.

Well, that was easy. I made my way to the bathroom when I saw (Name) sitting on the toilet screaming, "MUST. FEED. UNICORNS!!!"

Huh. I never expected this. Everything went better than expected. (Name) went to the bathroom without being scared anymore. She actually went more than frequently, just to make sure the unicorns were getting enough 'food'.  I guess this parenting thing wasn't so bad after all.
Request from :iconepicninja78:
Yes, I think Romano maybe a little OOC, but I think it's okay. Do you think it's okay? :iconokayfaceplz:

I had fun writing this :D Hope you enjoy it, even though it's pretty short. Papa!Romano and Little!Reader are fun to write about!

The unicorn thing was actually based off a true event that my father did with me when I was young. ^_^

Figia: Daughter

Romano and Hetalia (c) :iconhimaruyaplz:
You (c) :iconsexyromano2plz:
Story (c) Me
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:icontiffanyvargas:
TiffanyVargas Featured By Owner 7 hours ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh.ma.god.this is ingenious!!!
Reply
:iconsutarihato:
Sutarihato Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist
Oh. My. Hetalians. This is freaking amazing. Like, I legitly Laughed Out Loud. I'm begging for more this was hilarious.
Reply
:iconunwanted-immortals:
I love this fandom so much that it's not making any sense
Reply
:iconmydepictionoffiction:
MyDepictionOfFiction Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
So my shit feeds unicorns. Even my REAL dad's stories weren't that fucked up.
Reply
:iconhetalian-canada:
Hetalian-Canada Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Mein gott... *dies of laughter*
Reply
:iconmari225:
Mari225 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Now I know I'm going to feed the unicorns more often :D
Reply
:iconlunagameriminportal:
LunaGamerImInPortal Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Student General Artist
´´Aw, unicorns. Wait, I hate unicorns.``-my reaction-SAI WHAT NIGGAcat face wtf roar scream 
I hesitated, and looked at the pink blanket she had on her head. Aw, unicorns. Wait, I hate unicorns. Wait a second…THAT'S IT!

"To feed Unicorns." I answered. (Name) looked at me like I was a madman, then all of a sudden, she sprinted out of the room.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!" She screamed. (Name) ran towards the bathroom quickly.

Well, that was easy. I made my way to the bathroom when I saw (Name) sitting on the toilet screaming, "MUST. FEED. UNICORNS!!!" -my reaction-normal day of my lifehaha no Green Link Sweat Derp Hetalia Japan ICON Exo : Yixing Derp Dance 
Reply
:iconqueenawesome98:
QueenAwesome98 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014
OMG.... I am SOOO going to use this on my future child! XD
*Laughing really hard*
Reply
:iconimmortalvantasy:
ImmortalVantasy Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm going to tell my child this when I get one x3
Reply
:iconmonsterofflame:
monsterofflame Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014
mUST FEeD UNICORNS
Reply
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